3rd Dream

1/19/2021 Third Dream 

I was picking out clothes to wear to a wedding. Tie, shirt, suit, deciding between black or brown dress shoes from my attic closet area in my childhood home. I had nondescript friends shooting the bull with me, razzing me about my date for after the wedding. The image I had of this date was a tall blond, a lawyer I had met online. I was packing an extra bag of clothes, expecting to spend the night with her.

The scene shifted to a large, upscale hotel conference or ballroom facility, set up for a wedding. There was a large crowd, and I sat through the wedding with the same faceless buddies, and then I was up and moving again, seeming to be on my way out to meet up with my date.

The next words I heard were, ”Hey, there’s Jill!”

Whawhahwahwha???

I nearly woke up. But I was still in the dream, so I ran with it.

We came together like it was so natural. It seemed like we both had sat through this dream wedding with friends. This was Jill from early on, still tan, maybe not slim, but all her proportions were right on. This was her early thirties, confident, happy. We were walking away from the reception area, arm in arm, when she asked me, “Wanna go upstairs and get naked?” That smile on her face, the look in her eyes. Yes, she would have said that, especially back then.

I remember we were we were walking to the elevator when a bevy of preteens and parents gathered around us, clamoring that there wasn’t a specialized site in the hotel and pool for kids, all the kids and adults seemingly brokenhearted that they weren’t going to get a break from each other, not getting to have their “fun times.” 

I woke up then. I had been sleeping in the leather chair  next to my fireplace, in my new house. It was 3:30 am, and my new dog was sleeping on the floor next to me.

I was sleeping in the chair because I had been getting stuffed up. I had a sinus infection, and I also had COVID. I had gone to bed early, woke up at 1:00, and decided to try sleeping in the chair for the rest of the night. I would be getting up and doing a video session with my classes at 7:50. 

All of this felt alien, new. A house that Jill never stepped into, a dog she never met. These last 18 months, everything in my life has been unsettled, unfamiliar. The only thing that had felt real that night was the gleam in her eye, the curl of her smiling lips.